Feeling
defeated by my obsession, I curled up on the cool Naugahyde covered couch to
escape my attitude and put finishing touches on my sleep. An hour later, woke
in a stormy hypnogogic state – I needed a fix.
Vowing,
out loud to the room, I swore to never again make a computer-free “pact” with
my family. I wasn’t remotely prepared for this intervention and didn’t even
bring a notepad! I was struggling, and knew it, but also willing to work through
this horrible fixation on technology.
The Search
The “interventionists”
were out on the lake, so, I drove alone to a local market to seek out the
perfect notebook, so at least I could feel in some control of my habit and have
a tactile moment with paper and pen.
Hidden in
a pile of notebooks was a lovely, faux brown leather pad with a yellow and brown
plaid interior – rather funky. Smelling the paper was an out-of-body experience.
Also discovered not one but three extra fine point multi-colored pens, which I
snapped up, as new words needed new pens, and would satisfy and calm my addiction.
People who like pens are particular, for the most part. I’m into the extra-fine
because my words needed to be thinly written to flow smoothly and effortlessly
from brain to paper. My family would not dare argue with my purchase.
Morsels and Coffee
I discovered
a new to me coffee shop called Morsels, sat in a comfortable chair with my
homemade lapboard, ordered strong coffee (and some morsels) – words flowed out.
Amazingly,
the distraction of using pen to paper for two hours lessened my desire for being
online.
On the
way back to camp, I stopped to see a friend with whom I shared my technology
free attempt for the week. She warmly welcomed me into rehabilitation - her beautiful store - where she smothered me with
a counselor’s understanding and compassion, generously giving me the resolve
needed to make it through my commitment. Is this what friends are for?
Absolutely!
What I Learned
I knew I
didn’t have to take on the “advice” of my family but think they were right to
request I give phone calls and writing on the computer a break. The week ended
with an abundance of special and peaceful memories … very likely due to not
being tethered to my devices. I participated more in discussions, game playing,
kayaking. I learned a lot about myself during the week and believe that the
tactile writing from pen to paper used a different part of my brain. The lack
of connection provided a quiet “not knowing” what was going on in the world.
This was needed and highly refreshing.
I’ll never fully give up having online connections, as my special group activities
from various sites help plan my days and adds interest to my calendar. But, an
occasional vacation from technology, absolutely, as doing so adds
embellishments along with unexpected ideas and activities.